The F-Bomb: The For Real True History That I Just Made Up

For some reason I got thinking about the dreaded F-Bomb today. Not really sure why, either. I've always found that term “F-Bomb” funny. It really sounds more like something out of the military's arsenal than an off-color word, doesn't it? Hmm... what would warfare be like if they strategically implemented everyone's favorite euphemism for sex? I wonder....

“Sir, I have an update on the war with Terrorist-Axis-Nation-X. We've completely repelled their air force, sunk their navy and pushed their troops back within their borders. Now all we have to do is wait for them to surrender.”

“Don't be absurd, Lieutenant. They'll never give up. Not unless they know how dangerous we are. What we need now is a show of force.”

“Sir, you don't mean... the A-Bomb?!”

“No Lieutenant. That may have worked on Japan, but we need something bigger this time.”

“The H-Bomb, sir? Dear Lord, not the H-Bomb!”

“Even the H-Bomb won't be enough to get these savages to give in. No, Lieutenant, there's only one option.”

“Sir, you can't mean...?!”

“I do, Lieutenant. That most deadly of humanity's creations. The one thing that makes all men cower in fear. Even the gods shudder at the merest mention of its name. Yes Lieutenant, I'm talking about-...”

“Don't say it, Sir! For God's sake, don't say it!!!”

“I must, Lieutenant. We need... the F-Bomb!”

And why shouldn't the word “F*ck” (this is a family-friendly blog, btw) be capable of ending wars? It can easily stop dead the parent of any four-year-old who says it.

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This post was written while I was eating Doritos. Somehow I managed to avoid getting cheese powder all over the keyboard.