Test

Just testing to see if Windows Live Write actually works.

Fable III Review

So, I've just gotten to a point in Fable III where my player character is about to leave for a long while, an NPC says, so if there's anything I want to do, I'd better do it now. So, before I leave, I get married and have a baby. And that baby grows up into a cute little girl. And she is black. Her parents are white. I don't understand this. And this is one of the many problems I encountered while playing this game. They're frustrating, but what's even more frustrating is that they mar what could have been a fantastic experience.

You play the prince or princess of Albion, a fictional country in a fictional world that strongly resembles Earth circa the industrial revolution. After witnessing your brother the King commit terrifying acts against his subjects, you pledge to lead a revolt against him. But first you will need allies. Going around the world and forging alliances forms the basis of your adventure, but along the way you can also interact with villagers, buy real estate, fight monsters and do other exciting stuff. The game positions you as the most important person in its world and its your actions that will shape it and the lives of its people.

Exploring the world is easily the best part of the game. Albion is a gorgeous place, with beautiful scenery and cities that seem more alive than those in other games. NPC's are speaking all the time and wandering around as though the actually have things to do. They don't, of course, but the illusion that this is a real place is extremely well handled.

Additionally, the scripting is second-to-none and is aided and abetted by some first-rate voice work. The dialogue is frequently witty and charming and gives the fictional inhabitants of this world so much personality. There are so many amusing characters, including a chicken farmer who believes his chickens are plotting to overthrow society, a pair of ghosts who only want to get away from their strict ghost mother and party, a man who loves his garden gnomes so much that he even celebrates their birthdays and many more memorable charcaters. This is so charming and funny and is worth playing for this fact alone.

Combat, on the other hand, is disappointing. It uses essentially the same system as that of Fable II: each of your three types of attacks - melee, ranged and magic, are assigned to a button. You change the effects of the attack depending on various factors: how long you hold the button, whether you're also pushing the left analog stick, that sort of thing. Fable II managed to get a surprising amount of depth out of this. Fable III, on the other hand, uses a simpler, dumbed-down version of this system. There are fewer things it lets you do. No more shooting off enemy body parts or countering an foe's melee attack with one of your own. Magic, too, is diminished. There are only five types of spells and they are all direct-damage. All you do with your spells is shoot enemies. Apparently all this was done to make the game more accessible, but in a world where God of War, Ninja Gaiden and Devil May Cry are best-sellers, simplistic combat is more likely to turn players off than attract them. Despite this, fighting is still fun, thanks to to some flashy-looking attacks and interesting enemies. It's just too bad that it couldn't have been deeper.

Speaking of dumbing things down, the interaction system is insultingly shallow. I thought the interaction system was Fable II's weakest point. It was great when dealing with crowds; seeing people gather round and be entertained while you danced or played with your dog was very fun. But it fell apart when you were asked to treat the NPC's as individuals. Courting people was a joke: you simply pressed a button and the game would tell you what expressions or gifts the NPC would respond to. So, you just pull up your expressions wheel, pick the expressions they like, do them until the person loves you and you're set. Believe it or not, this could even lead to marriage. It felt meaningless.

Fable III somehow makes this even worse. Even though there are still dozens of expressions, you can no longer choose from them all at any time. No, you have two, three, maybe four options. The expressions have been moved to the face buttons and whenever you choose to interact with an NPC, your options come up. The A button is a polite or friendly option, Y is something rude and X is more threatening. If you want to make friends, press A. Every time. That's it. No need to figure out what the person will react to. Just press A. They will like you after two or three rounds of this. Even weirder, the game will randomly decide from the expressions you've unlocked which ones to give you for each encounter, which can create some bizarre situations. For instance, my character, a heterosexual male, can approach a heterosexual male NPC and begin an interaction where the "friendly" option is dance. So I, wanting to make friends with the guy, select this. The two characters then begin to cha-cha in the middle of the street. There's nothing wrong with two men dancing together, but when this is their first encounter, it's beyond weird. And when you do manage to make someone like enough that they want to befriend you, they tell you that they will be your friend if you do something for them. That's right, it's like back in kindergarten when your classmates would tell you that if you give them some of your M&M's they'll be your best friend. Romance is equally stupid. The NPC will tell you straight out that if you were to ask them out they would say yes. And if you agree to a date, they will tell you exactly where they want to go. Take your date there and they will tell you to kiss them. Do that (by simply pressing the A button) and they will immediately fall in love with you. If only real life were like this! Unparalleled interaction with the game world's inhabitants has always been one of the Fable's most-touted selling points, yet in practice it's so shallow and unsatisfying.

If that weren't enough, this game is buggy. Often during combat, my character would begin charging a magic attack or a flourish after I pressed the button for a ranged attack. There are frequent bouts of slow-down. Numerous times while interacting with an NPC, I would tap, rather than hold down, the button in question, not wanting to extend the expression, yet the game seemed to think I was still pressing the button. The glowing trail that is meant to lead you to your destination had mislead me on a few occasions. There was a patch on launch day which I installed before setting foot in Albion. If the game is this screwy after that, I'd hate to see what it was like before.

I sound like I hate this game, but I don't. It may not be a great game but it is a game that has great elements. It's brilliant script, top-notch voice acting and excellent world-building do so much to buoy an otherwise deeply flawed game. Unlike most sequels, its gameplay fails to build on what its predecessors did and instead it makes Fable III feel like a weak copy of those great games.

Rest in Peace Lisa Kane, 1974 - 2009

I just got back from work to some really horrible news: a girl I've known for at least 15 years died earlier today; Streptococcal infection combined with a compromised immune system.

Even though we knew each other a long time and saw one another fairly often I didn't really know her THAT well; it's probably a stretch to say we were friends (though MY definition of "friend" tends to be a bit more relaxed than some people's, so I at least count her as my friend, even if she wouldn't have said the same of me), but we got along well and we always had fun talking. It's really a tragedy that she's gone, especially since she was only 35.

And of course, now I regret NOT taking time to get to know her better. I also realize that, even though I've always been very healthy, something similar can always happen to me; the young are not immune to death, as much as we'd like to believe we are.

Lisa, you died far too young and you will be missed.

The F-Bomb: The For Real True History That I Just Made Up

For some reason I got thinking about the dreaded F-Bomb today. Not really sure why, either. I've always found that term “F-Bomb” funny. It really sounds more like something out of the military's arsenal than an off-color word, doesn't it? Hmm... what would warfare be like if they strategically implemented everyone's favorite euphemism for sex? I wonder....

“Sir, I have an update on the war with Terrorist-Axis-Nation-X. We've completely repelled their air force, sunk their navy and pushed their troops back within their borders. Now all we have to do is wait for them to surrender.”

“Don't be absurd, Lieutenant. They'll never give up. Not unless they know how dangerous we are. What we need now is a show of force.”

“Sir, you don't mean... the A-Bomb?!”

“No Lieutenant. That may have worked on Japan, but we need something bigger this time.”

“The H-Bomb, sir? Dear Lord, not the H-Bomb!”

“Even the H-Bomb won't be enough to get these savages to give in. No, Lieutenant, there's only one option.”

“Sir, you can't mean...?!”

“I do, Lieutenant. That most deadly of humanity's creations. The one thing that makes all men cower in fear. Even the gods shudder at the merest mention of its name. Yes Lieutenant, I'm talking about-...”

“Don't say it, Sir! For God's sake, don't say it!!!”

“I must, Lieutenant. We need... the F-Bomb!”

And why shouldn't the word “F*ck” (this is a family-friendly blog, btw) be capable of ending wars? It can easily stop dead the parent of any four-year-old who says it.

***

This post was written while I was eating Doritos. Somehow I managed to avoid getting cheese powder all over the keyboard.

God I'm Getting Desperate

I hate the Benny Hill Show, but think "Yakkety Sax" is awesome.

Yeah, this is the sort of thing I'm going to have to resort to if I plan on doing this whole writing thing daily.

What Did I Eat Before Bed Last Night?!

I didn't sleep well last night. It was mainly because I was having some pretty bizarre dreams. Not scary ones or anything, just weird. The kind that will ultimately force you awake and make you wonder if you're not at least slightly insane.

The first, or at least the first that I remember, involved bees that produced mind-control honey which they used to take over the minds of a bunch of people I know. I don't really remember much aside from that, but I know something pretty major must have happened since something jarred me awake. For some reason I think it may have involved a bunch of girls attacking me with a couch.

Sometime after that I had another dream. Interestingly, this one also involved my friends and acquaintances being mind-controlled (what does that say about me, I wonder). This time though, it was some sort of man-made tower doing the influencing rather than bees. Only a few of us managed to avoid being controlled, though how I don't know. Somehow, we discovered some sort of spray that canceled the mind-control effects and went around freeing as many people as we could.

Now, here's where it gets good. And when I say good, I mean really, really dumb.

Those of us who were not being controlled got together and, with me in command (hey, it was MY dream) decided that we had to take out the tower. And so, we marched off to attack it. Problem was, I had completely forgotten to tell everybody about the plan of attack. It was not in fact the climactic battle to end all battles as I would have liked, since, without a plan, everyone just stood around and did nothing. Not exactly our finest hour.

So I rewound my dream to a point where we were all together again. And this time I did things right! I split us into three units: a ground group that would use tanks to attack, an air unit, that somehow got a hold of these flying platforms that they would use to bomb and strafe the tower, and an insertion group that would infiltrate and seize the thing.

I woke up sometime during the attack, so I don't know how effective we were, but considering my brilliant (read: incompetent) leadership earlier on, I expect we failed.

Miserably.

Well, I Had to Write About Something

One thing I hate about trying to get myself to write more often is actually finding stuff to write about. When you're expecting yourself to write something everyday, you also have to expect to come up with a new thing to write about everyday. And, the thing is, I can write about absolutely anything: it's my blog, my time spent working on it, so I should have complete freedom to go about this however I want. It should be liberating. But, at least in my case, it isn't. It's too much leeway for me.

I've found that many of the best stories I've written have had some sort of restriction placed on them. It could be a specific word count, or theme, or, in one case, when I was writing a short story as part of an application for film school a few years back, five specific items that HAD to be incorporated into the story somehow. The conditions on that last one didn't stop there either: 250 words tops. It's not easy writing a story so short, especially when you actually want to give your characters some development as well. But, it ended up being one of my all-time favorite pieces of work.

I think I thrive under those conditions because I will approach writing as some sort of problem to be solved and much of my enjoyment comes from figuring out how to make everything work.

But to have total freedom means not knowing where to start. There's so much I could write about and, yeah, that's the problem - there's sooooo much I could write about. And a lot of it is interesting.

So, of course, I just ended up rambling about not knowing what to base this post on instead. Ironic.

I really don't want to proof-read this thing. I think it's a bit of a jumbled mess.

This is The Sort of Stuff I Gotta Write if I'm Ever Going to Figure Out What to Write About

So lately I've been trying to figure out where I want to go with my life. I'm 27 and a high school graduate. Haven't done any post-secondary, mainly because... well, I have no clue what I want to do. And I'm too stingy to want to go into a program if I'm not sure it's what I want. Even after checking out some universities online i still have nothing, so I'm at a bit of a stalemate. I'd love to do something in the entertainment industry, be it books, comics, movies, TV, video games, whatever, preferably in a creative capacity. Problem is, I'm too practical to actually think that I can actually make a living doing that.

Which brings me back to why I brought this blog back from the dead. No,I'm not naive enough to think it'll springboard me to fame and fortune, though I certainly wouldn't complain if it did. But, at the very least, it should give me an outlet for some of those creative juices. Doing this is the next best thing to being paid to write! Plus, this way, my ramblings can be heard by more than just the people I work with. Now everyone can join in the terror.

Incidentally, here are some choice quotes of things I said today at work. I just really want to get these down for posterity:

"The internet can't give you mouth-to-mouth."

"If you get pregnant at work, can you get workman's comp?"

"PMS.-ing is the ultimate deterrent: the nuclear missile of verbal sparring."

And, yes, these quotes DID make sense in context. Believe me, I was there.

Two Years Later, I'm Still a Hypocrit.

Yep.

I'm Back! And if I Actually Had an Audience, Someone Might Care!

Yep. This here blogs been somewhat retired for a couple of years now, but I decided to resurrect it, mainly because I really need to start writing regularly again. And I really like the name.

I still don't have a theme, though, so it'll be whatever I want to talk about for now. Hopefully something will emerge, but let's not get too optimistic yet. Now of course I just need something to talk about...

God, I hate this kind of post. Shouldn't I just be writing something instead of writing about writing something?

Which Supervillain am I?

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom 42% Mr. Freeze 41% Apocalypse 39% Lex Luthor 37% Venom 36% Juggernaut 36% The Joker 35% Magneto 31% Dark Phoenix 30% Green Goblin 28% Kingpin 28% Riddler 26% Poison Ivy 26% Mystique 24% Catwoman 21% Two-Face 16%

Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

This Seems Ironic, Considering What My Last Post Was About...

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 85% Superman 75% Green Lantern 60% Robin 50% Supergirl 50% Wonder Woman 45% The Flash 45% Catwoman 40% Iron Man 35% Hulk 30% Batman 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

How Evil Am I?

You Are 30% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

I'm flattered.

I Hate Being A Hypocrit

Right after I made my last post, I remembered that I usually hate it when people start off a blog or a column or whatever by talking about what they are going to do with it. Honestly, a better way to introduce your theme or plan is to, y'know, just do it. That way, instead of talking about it, you're actually writing about what you planned to write about, which is the whole point, right?

Anyway, I stupidly wrote one of those introductions for this blog.

Sorry.

What's In A Name...

So, if you've made it here, you've probably seen the name. Not real descriptive, is it? Normally a blog's name should refelct the theme of said blog. The problem here, though, is that I'm not really sure what my blog's theme is yet. Really this blog is mostly an excuse to get me to write regularly. So, for the time being, the theme is anything and everything I feel like writing about. Maybe something more specific will come along later...

So anyway, welcome to my blog. Hope you have fun!